It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
