did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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