um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
