don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
