I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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