Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
