I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
