I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
