Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
