Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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