Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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