thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
