WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
