hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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