It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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