Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize