the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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