NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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