No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize