Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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