But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize
