Jerry, you need to find god
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
