yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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