i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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