smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
