All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
