Don't you send me to vm
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
