Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
