...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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