I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
