I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
