South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
