It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
