She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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