I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
