You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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