smell my finger.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
