So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize