WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
