you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
