last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
