Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
