So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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