How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
