don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize