turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
