You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
