how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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