I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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