Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
