my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
