That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
