all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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