my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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