first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
