At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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