I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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