I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I cannot find my penis.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
