I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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