I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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