hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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