I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
