Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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