He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
