if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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