I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize