how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize