I can't watch pbs sober anymore
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
