I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
