The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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