Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
