No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
