It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
