My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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