Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize