but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my poor anus
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
