did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
