Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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