we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hippo gnu deer
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
